The REAL Prolonged Camping Trip
by acciolove-x
Summary: Three years after the Battle of Hogwarts and the Ministry is still deciding on the fate of Draco. When the Trio think its time for a camping trip, it seems to be the ideal soloution. Hold on tight, folks, this is gonna be the trip of a lifetime!
1. Pressure

Chapter 1 – Pressure

Imagine that you are an Auror. Now, imagine that you are Head Auror. Add on top of that the fact that the Entire Ministry is in ruins after Lord Voldemort's downfall, you are the one who brought said downfall about, and it is up to you and your associates to put the magical world back together. Now you understand exactly how Harry Potter felt three years after the battle of Hogwarts.

.o.O.o.

"Coffee Harry? Harry? Harry!"

Harry woke with a start. After another day of work at the Auror Office, he had joined Ron in portkeying back to the close in which they lived. Apparation was not the preferred method of travel for either of them; Ron because it still reminded him of those months of being on the run and wearing that Horcrux, and Harry because it still made him feel slightly sick.

After throwing his suitcase down in the hall, Harry had slouched into his favourite armchair with the intention of simply resting his eyes for a few moments, but his body had other intentions.

He blinked at the figure in front of him.

"For goodness' sake Harry, that's the third time this week, and its only Wednesday!"

"I was just resting my eyes!" Harry protested.

"Right. That's what you said yesterday, _and_ the day before! Just accept that you're working too hard. Things haven't been easy on any of us since…then, and you're putting too much pressure on yourself."

"I like to keep my mind off things."

Ginny sighed. Life hadn't exactly been kind to Harry in the last few years, and she knew it was hitting him hard. Besides the trauma that he had gone through after losing so many loved ones, Harry had taken it upon himself to shoulder the blame for everything that had happened.

The redhead placed the blue mug of coffee on the small table next to Harry's chair and sank down into the small space between Harry and the arm of the chair.

"Come on Harry, it's not your fault. You can't keep trying to take all of the blame."

Harry hugged his girlfriend closer, and kissed the top of her head, inhaling the flowery scent that always seemed to surround her.

"If I'd have just given myself up in the first place, Fred would still be with us. So would Lupin and Tonks. So would Dobby. If I hadn't tried to run…"

"But Harry, you were doing what Dumbledore told you to! You _had_ to find the Horcruxes! If you hadn't found them and destroyed them, Voldemort would still be ruling the Ministry and we'd _all _be dead! Snap out of it!"

"I suppose you have a point. I'm sorry."

Harry reached out for the mug and took a large gulp of coffee. The rich, bitter taste lingered on his tongue. He watched in silence for a while as the white steam billowed from the liquid, shaping itself into all sorts of magical creatures. The things that witches and wizards could do to the most ordinary of products still awed Harry. He supposed he would never get used to it. Ginny tightened her arms around him as Harry finished his drink.

"Would it be stupid to ask how work was?"

"Yes. Very. You have no idea how lucky you are not to be in that place. Crawling with former Death Eaters claiming to be under the Imperius curse. Haven't got enough Veritaserum to sort out the liars, we're still waiting for that import from France. Stupid Apparation laws. Can we change the subject now?"

"Yes. Where's Ron? I thought he was coming back with you."

"He's gone to get milk. I suppose someone decided to have a midnight snack again. Really, will he ever grow out of the milk and cookies stage?"

Ginny giggled. She didn't have time to tell him that she was the true culprit, since the door to the living room had burst open, and a very ginger, very freckled wizard walked in. He began to stride through the room, glancing round when he heard Ginny laugh. Ron looked very pointedly at Harry and cleared his throat.

"Sorry mate. You know, you're going to have to let her grow up someday."

Ever since Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione had moved in together, Ron had been a little less protective of Ginny, but still too much for Harry's liking.

"Yes, well I'd rather not let that happen right before my eyes, thank you. Now if you'd mind disentangling yourself from my sister, I'd be most grateful."

"Wow, Ron. Being with Hermione is finally starting to wear off on you! I've never heard you sound so smart!" Ginny teased, sliding off Harry and claiming a chair of her own.

"Yeah, but…but…OK you can have that," Run mumbled lamely, before continuing out of the room with the milk.

"Ron, is there any particular reason why you're taking the milk into the spare bathroom?"

"Oh yeah," Ron muttered sheepishly, reversing out of the room, tapping his wand on the door handle and sliding it to the other side of the door. He opened it again – pushing instead of pulling – and entered the kitchen.

"That door always catches him," Harry grinned.

"I know." Ginny stretched and yawned.

"Tough day?"

"Hardly tough compared to what you have to do. But tiring, certainly." Ginny was currently flying for a lower league Quidditch team, but was constantly trying out for better positions.

"You look drained," Harry noted, "I'd ask Hermione to cook tonight, if I were you. I'm going to go and catch a few hours sleep in a minute if you don't mind, and I don't like to think of the last meal Ron made."

Ron re-entered the room at that moment. "Hey! There's nothing wrong with my cooking!"

"Yeah, if you like beetroot and pineapple broth with dragon liver biscuits!" Ginny spluttered, and both she and Harry burst out laughing.

"Well if someone other than me went shopping once in a while we'd have more in the cupboards!"

"I'm sorry Ron but seriously, it's not like you do anything else around here."

"OK people, let's give it a rest. I'm going to go up to bed for a few hours. See you in a bit Ron, Gin." Harry stretched and rose from his seat, kissed Ginny on the cheek as he walked past, then went upstairs to get a few extra hours sleep. He had been working since four in the morning, and he had gotten off late again. It was now half past six in the evening. He slid into bed fully dressed, and was asleep in moments. At least he was off tomorrow. Harry relished the thought.

.o.O.o.

"Ron its just not _fair_!"

"I know 'Mione, I know."

"They're people too!"

"I know."

"They have feelings as well!"

"I know."

"And I do not have scum for brains!"

"I know."

Harry blinked and rubbed his eyes. His fingertips brushed the strands of messy black hair from is forehead and he strained his ears to listen to the noise that had woken him. There was a wailing sound coming from downstairs, a sound that was vaguely familiar to Harry's ears, and the sympathising – but slightly vacant – voice that matched it seemed familiar, too.

"I haven't even done anything wrong!"

"Yes, yes," the voice was impatient now, "but like I keep trying to tell you, people want Houselves to work, and Houselves want to work for people!"

Houselves. The word registered dimly in his mind, and he understood what the commotion was about. Hermione must be home, and like nearly every other day, she had had some form of abuse from either Houselves or other wizards. Personally, Harry didn't understand why Hermione was trying so hard. If they were happy with the way things were, why change it? As the Muggles say, 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'.

"RON YOU'RE NOT HELPING!" A new voice bellowed. Ginny. 'Welcome to the house of fun' Harry thought grimly. He wasn't going to get any sleep now, so he decided to get up.

Downstairs, Hermione was sitting at one end of the sofa, tears dripping down her face and strange looking slime in her hair, whilst Ron tried – and failed – to console her. Harry continued through to the kitchen-diner without a word. In the bright little room, Ginny was waving her wand around, directing plates of food to the circular wooden table.

"What's for-"

"Pasta. Mum's recipe." Ginny turned to smile at Harry, and with a final flourish of her wand the plates landed on the table. "I know it's your favourite."

Harry smiled back. It was surprisingly easy to live with someone as hot-headed as Ginny. He sometimes thought that she was like the little girl with the curl on her forehead. Now was one of those times, and he smiled wider at the analogy.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just a thought. What's up with Hermione?"

"What do you think? She was just walking down Diagon Alley with a box of spew badges-"

"S.P.E.W!"

"Err, sorry Hermione. Anyway, she got pelted with Houself vomit, and somebody asked how she liked them now."

"Houselves can vomit? Lovely."

"Not really. It's notoriously difficult to get rid of the stuff. I've tried a few simpler charms and nothing helped. And for once in her life, Hermione hasn't read a book about something. I'll have to send an owl to mum, she'll know." Ginny raised her voice slightly to yell, "Tea!" and Hermione and Ron appeared at the table. Everybody besides Ginny sat down on the un-matching, but somehow homely, chairs that surrounded the table, and Ginny placed a tray of garlic bread on the table before sitting down to eat with everyone else.

Ron was stuffing as much food in his mouth as possible in the shortest space of time, as usual. Harry and Ginny both ate more composedly, though they still enjoyed their food. Hermione, however, wasn't eating at all.

"What's wrong Hermione?"

"I can't possibly eat with sick on my head! _I'll _be sick!"

"You can't starve yourself! I mean, how can you go without _food_?" Ron sounded incredulous.

"Do you ever thing about anything other than your stomach, Ronald? Besides, mum's owl should be here soon."

As if on cue, the shrill hooting of a tiny owl was heard in the distance. The owl did a somersault and a series of clumsy flips in the air, before attempting to fly through the window with so much enthusiasm that he missed entirely and hit the window frame. The irrepressible bird bounced back immediately, and flew through the window.

"Hey Pig," everyone chorused. The twittering little dot landed promptly next to Ginny's plate. He looked slightly abashed, even for an owl. Ginny untied the note from the Pigwidgeon's leg and patted his head, then opened the paper and read quietly to herself. Her eyes scanned the paper quickly, her expression giving nothing away.

"What's the verdict?" Ron asked seriously, as if someone's life was at stake.

"There are instructions for a potion here, but it looks very complicated. Maybe you'd better do it…" Ginny suggested, nodding over at the bushy-haired girl with an untouched dish in front of her.

"Let me have a look."

Hermione took the letter and read twice before she spoke, "It looks more difficult than anything I've ever done. And we don't have all of these ingredients, either. I'll have to go shopping. On second thoughts, someone else can go. I'm not going back to that place, not like this."

Everybody nodded in agreement, but nobody reached out for the paper or offered to go.

"Well?"

"Oh, I'll go," Harry surrendered at last, taking the note and reading down the list of ingredients for himself. "Boomslang skin…newt tails...grindylow tongue…this thing is almost as disgusting as the vomit itself!"

"Mum says it will wash out easily."

"I hope for Hermione's sake that it does."

* * *

_Dun dun duuun! Will Ginny ever get a better Quidditch placement? Will Harry ever go through a whole day without taking a nap? Will Hermione get the sick out of her hair? And most importantly, will Ron ever get past the milk and cookies stage? Review to find out!_


	2. Brewing

Chapter 2 - Brewing

"Add the chopped grindylow tongue, stir three times clockwise, then leave to brew," Ginny read, squinting her eyes at the paper that was much more difficult to read than it had been a short while ago.

"Why are you doing that with your eyes?"

"Because, Ron, that is what you do when you have trouble reading. Do you know why I'm having trouble reading?"

"Errmm…no?" Ron offered fearfully, though the look on his face said that he knew exactly why his sister was having trouble reading.

"Because you and Harry do not appear to be mature enough to be allowed out of this house alone!" Ginny yelled. Harry, who was cutting up slices of dragon spleen on the counter, cringed. It wasn't his fault; he was only defending the people he loved.

"You really can't ban us from leaving the house! I mean, that's just, how…it's controlling!" Ron stuttered.

"It wasn't even my fault!" Harry wailed, sounding shockingly similar to Dudley when he didn't get what he wanted. "It was Ron who suggested going down there in the first place!"

"Yes well I didn't expect you to get into a fight with Draco Malfoy! _Again!_"

Harry and Draco's relationship – which was almost indifferent on both parts after the Battle of Hogwarts – had taken a turn for the worse again. This was largely due to the fact that Draco had found it appropriate to insult Harry's mother very loudly whilst standing near Astoria Greengrass. Craving for her attention, no doubt. Upon hearing Draco's usual 'mudblood' remark, Harry's temper had flared up and he had hit out at his old nemesis. A similar scuffle had taken place today near the entrance of Knockturn Alley. The two wizards, easily distinguishable by the contrast of their hair colours, had ended up pushing and shoving each other until Harry was in the gutter, and the paper he had been reading had landed in some unidentifiable pile gloop. Gloop that had made it almost impossible to understand the neat, joined writing on the parchment.

"Neither of you should have gone near that place to begin with, now can we please drop this?" Ginny snapped.

"Sorry Ginny," they both mumbled, and returned back to their previous activities in silence.

"Alright, the grindylow tongue is in. How long do we leave it for?"

Ginny hesitated for a moment before answering Ron's question. "Twenty minutes, I think…yeah that's definitely a two," she muttered to herself. "Twenty minutes."

Harry chopped the last piece of meat, and then turned to face the others. Nobody seemed to want to mention the small row that had occurred before, so Harry tried to think of something to say to break the tension. He was about to stoop so low as to comment on the weather, but he was saved by Hermione walking in at that moment.

"Hermione, where have you been? You were supposed to be helping me make this thing! I've left these two in charge, and I'm starting to wonder if that was such a wise idea. It's taking an entire person just to read the instructions!" Ginny babbled.

Hermione sighed as she replied, "Why? What happened?"

"Malfoy," Harry, Ron and Ginny said in unison.

"What did he do?" Hermione turned to Ginny for her answer. She knew that it would be hard to get the simple, honest truth from either Harry or Ron; their hatred of him was so great. On reflection though, Ginny wasn't much better.

"I'm not sure, exactly."

"OK, but what does he have to do with not being able to read a piece of paper?"

Ron sighed. "Malfoy and Harry got into a fight, Harry was pushed and the paper got a bit…damaged."

Hermione's mixed look horror and scorn was exactly what all three expected. "Harry! Harry you can't just go around beating people up, it's awful!"

"He asked for it Hermione," Harry said wearily. "And literally, he did. 'Come and get me, Potter'," he quoted bitterly, in fairly passable impression of his schoolboy rival.

"What exactly did he say, Harry? I mean, I know you hate him and all but you can't have attacked him without a reason," Hermione pointed out. She knew Harry too well to think that he would act without at least _some _sort of motivation.

"He was strutting around Diagon Alley – you know, like he owns the place – then as soon as he saw me he sneered and asked if I'd spoke to any mudbloods lately." Harry paused slightly, and both Ginny and Hermione could see that he was hiding something from them.

"Spit it out, Harry."

"He said that you and Hermione, and Ron too-"he took a quick glance at Ron "-should look out, since you're," he swallowed, "mudbloods and blood traitors."

Hermione looked aghast, and Ginny looked downright furious. When Ginny Weasley was angry at you, it was a good idea to sleep with one eye open, and this was no exception.

"You're forgiven. I really can't believe tha-"

But what Ginny couldn't believe, the others never found out, because a loud pinging noise had come from the general direction of the cauldron. Given that Ron was stood next to it, he leapt into the air and let out a blood-curdling scream.

"True Gryffindor, you are Ron," Ginny grinned, walking over and looking into the pot. "Could someone get the manky old scrap of parchment known as 'the instructions', please?"

Harry took the sheet to Ginny, and she squinted her eyes, trying to read it. "If the…potion? Yeah, if the potion is a sti- no, sli-, or it might be sij-…" She turned the paper to a different angle. "Definitely sticky. If the potion is a sticky, blue slime and bubbling slightly, you're doing it right."

"Really? Because that doesn't sound right to me!"

"Ron! Shut up! Then add…what does that say, Harry?"

Harry took the scrap off Ginny, letting their fingers touch slightly longer than was necessary, and held it up to his face. He screwed up his nose in a show of intense concentration, then passed it to Hermione. "Haven't the foggiest. See what you can make of it."

Hermione took the paper and frowned. "What _is _this stuff?"

"We have no idea."

"Ugh. I think it says thirty-four…wait, that three could be an eight…well you're not really supposed to mix too much spleen with…hmmm…no, it neutralises it if you put…yes, it must be."

The rest of the group stared at her blankly whilst she rambled.

"It's an eight. I think. Then add eighty-four pieces of dragon spleen and one black beetle."

"Are you sure it's eighty-four?"

"Hang on…no…it can't be…" Hermione grumbled incoherently for another minute before all of Ron's patience evaporated.

"Just put the bloody stuff in!" he yelled, grabbing the chopping board and pouring the entire lot into the cauldron, while everyone else shouted in protest. The last of the ingredients hit the potion with a squelch that made it final. The entire kitchen seemed to hold its breath as it waited for something to happen. A second that felt like an hour passed, and the room began to breathe again.

"Thank Merlin for that," said Harry, picking up a single black beetle and dropping it into the cauldron. Oops…

Strange popping and fizzing sounds came from within the cauldron, similar to fireworks. "Everybody take cover!" Ron yelled, and all four of them dived towards the table, throwing themselves beneath it. They got there just before the potion exploded with such a force that the cauldron cracked. Blue slime coated the walls, ceiling, floor, counters…everything.

"Oh dear…"

Everybody turned to glare at Ron.

"What?"

Hermione sighed in exasperation. She crawled out from the 'shelter' and pulled herself to her feet. Walking slowly, she finally made it to the worktop where the largest amount of potion lay, spilling out of the cracked container. She stood an arm's length away from it, and pulled out her wand. She tapped the slime apprehensively with the tip of her wand, and winced, waiting for something to happen. The room was silent. After about half a second, the slime appeared to open up, like the crater of a volcano. Hermione stood, frozen, wondering what to do next. The decision was made for her by Ron. He followed her footsteps out from under the table and walked up behind her. Nobody moved, but the volcano shape that the potion had taken became more profound. Ron took a hesitant step past Hermione and put his eye to the hole.

As if it had been waiting specifically for that moment, a large jet of orange liquid issued from the slime, directly into Ron's eyeball. Despite the large – and literal – mess that they had just gotten themselves into, Harry, Hermione and Ginny laughed.

"It's not funny!" Ron yelled, but he looked so ridiculous with orange slime dripping down his face that they just laughed harder.

Eventually, Ron also surrendered to laughter. Laughter – what a beautiful thing. Everybody forgot their problems in that moment and laughed. Finally, Ginny emerged from under the table, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Ron-that-stuff-matches-your-HAIR!" She spluttered, holding on to the table for support.

"Alright, alright, enough laughter at Ron's expense," Harry said calmly, suddenly appearing beside his girlfriend. The calm façade was just that, a façade. He was laughing again in a matter of moments.

.o.O.o.

"Now remember Harry – no fights!"

"Yes, mum."

Ginny smiled and pinched Harry's cheek, cooing a little for good measure.

"Get off," he smiled playfully, pushing her away.

It was the day after the Great Potion Making Disaster, as Ginny liked to call it, and Harry and Ginny were shopping in Diagon Alley. Shopping for more potion ingredients, to be exact. After last night's (failed) attempt at making the potion, Hermione had apperated to The Burrow, where Mrs Weasley had managed to fix the problem. The explosion, however, had left the potion supply of the house extremely diminished. Ginny had decided to accompany Harry to the apothecary, just for the fun of it. Even though she had been going to Diagon Alley all her life, Ginny still loved it there and wouldn't turn down an opportunity to go, especially with Harry; she and Harry hadn't had much time to themselves recently.

Ginny skipped back to Harry's side and took his hand, and the two of them strolled at a leisurely pace through the town. It was a typical sunny day – the sky was a clear, bright blue and the overhead tropical waters were penetrated only by one or two fluffy white clouds. The sun shone down upon them, touching their skin with warmth. The temperature was pleasant, just a gentle breeze to stop it from becoming too hot.

After an hour of window shopping and happily talking about nothing, the couple decided to get what they had come for.

The cheerful, friendly atmosphere of the street followed them inside the shop, and it was bustling. The whole Alley was full of Hogwarts students, buying wands and cauldrons and spellbooks and begging their parents for brooms and owls and items from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. As far as Harry knew, there were two waves of shoppers from Hogwarts – the well prepared, overly organised people who came the week the letters arrived, and the last minute, frantic people who came the week before school started again.

The red haired girl and her raven haired partner – they were shockingly like Harry's own parents from behind – fought their way to the different displays, gathering armfuls of what they needed. It was the only time of the year that this particular shop seemed as breezy as this; usually it was dull, quiet, and slightly intimidating, yet strangely fascinating. These adjectives brought an old professor of Harry's into his thoughts. He smiled slightly – one of the few times he ever had while thinking of this person – and wondered how a person could be so like the subject they taught.

"Harry?"

Harry shook his head, realising that he had been staring at the wall with a gormless expression on his face.

"Do you ever think that Snape was well suited to his subject?" He burst out suddenly.

Ginny looked at him in surprise; it was the first time she had ever heard Harry speak of his old potions maser in a very long time. She processed what he had said, then smiled. "You mean he could explode at any second?"

"I suppose that's one way of putting it," Harry laughed, as they queued up to pay for their finds.

As they were walking to the door to leave, the little bell above it tinkled softly and it swung open.

"Hey Neville!" Both Harry and Ginny greeted their old school friend, rushing forward to meet him.

"Hi Harry, Ginny. How're you?"

Neville Longbottom was currently teaching herbology at Hogwarts, something that he enjoyed immensely. He had never had much talent in most subjects, but he was a real natural at his subject and enjoyed passing on what he was able to do.

"Great thanks, yourself?"

Neville shrugged. "Alright, I s'pose."

"What's up?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Neville," Ginny said sternly. She always seemed to have a way of getting information out of people.

Neville sighed. "Alright, if you must know. But let's get out of here first, OK?"

"If you say so," Harry agreed. He and Ginny followed Neville out of the shop, but not before shooting each other confused and concerned looking glances.

.o.O.o.

Hermione Granger giggled softly to herself. She turned the page of the book she was holding and laughed some more.

"'Mione?" Ron asked, coming into the room.

"How may I help you, Ronald?" Hermione asked innocently, snapping the book shut and stuffing it under the bed.

"Would you mind sharing the joke? And while you're at it explaining to my why you're sitting on the floor?" He asked, laying on his stomach on the bed.

"I wasn't laughing."

"Yes you were."

"No I wasn't. I was…sneezing."

"If you say so. And you're on the floor because…"

"I dropped something. Please tell me next time that disillusioning my gold necklace will in fact make it harder to find if I drop it, and not stop it from being burgled."

Ron shook his head and chuckled. "I told you it wouldn't work anyway, Hermione. They'd just say Accio Gold or something."

Hermione smiled and pretended to pick something up and put it in her pocket. "Got it." She climbed onto the bed beside Ron, and Ron rolled onto his back so that Hermione could rest her head on his chest.

They lay in companionable silence for a few moments, until Ron asked, "So where were you yesterday, anyway? When we were making the potion?"

"What? Oh. I was nowhere of any importance."

"Really? I never thought that _Hermione Granger _would miss a chance to flaunt her intelligence to be 'nowhere of any importance',"

Hermione laughed and slapped his shoulder gently.

He'd find out eventually.

* * *

_Will the Granger/Potter/Weasleys be able to clean the kitchen? Will we ever find out what Hermione's up to? What's wrong with Neville? And, most importantly, will Harry ever stop making weird analogies? Reviews are appreciated, people! _

_I know the timing isn't perfect, like it would have taken longer than this for Harry to become Head Auror and for Neville to teach, but lets just say they are for the sake of the story. OK? Good. :-) _


	3. Secrets and Plans

Chapter 3 – Secrets and Plans

Neville pulled out a white, painted, metal chair from the matching round table and sat down. The table had an old-fashioned flowery design cut from the metal, and a colourful umbrella was jutting through the middle. Harry pulled out a chair for Ginny and she took it, then Harry pulled up his own seat.

"So what's on your mind, Neville?"

The three wizards were sat outside a building that used to be Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream parlour. His nephew, David Fortescue, had taken over the position of running the shop after his uncle's murder.

"I…well, me and Padama aren't…together, anymore," he muttered dejectedly, staring down at the table.

Ginny's eyes flashed to Harry's for a moment. He winked, then turned back to Neville. "I'm sorry to hear that mate, but things will work out. You just need to find the right person."

Neville grunted non-commitedly.

"Cheer up, Neville. At least you're free to pretty much do what you want now. Padama wasn't good enough for you anyway," Ginny comforted.

"Mmm. I'm sorry, I'm just wallowing. Uh-oh…" he trailed off, as an elderly woman in a green dress and large hat began to make her way over to them.

"Neville! Neville there you are! You haven't been to visit me in ages! Where've you been?" the woman asked. To Harry's ears, it sounded more like an accusation.

"Sorry, Gran, I've been busy working."

"Well you've found time to come and eat ice-cream!"

"No –no I haven't! I was here to buy some ingredients to make a tonic for the plants and I ran into Harry and Ginny…"

"Of course you did. Well, if you're quite finished…"

The formidable looking woman stared expectantly at her grandson.

"Of course Gran."

Neville quickly said goodbye to Harry and Ginny and got up to follow his grandmother, looking worried.

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but he was cut off by the arrival of David Fortescue.

"Hello Mr Potter, Miss Weasley. What can I get you on this fine day?" he asked enthusiastically, looking from one to the other.

"Two sundaes, please," Harry replied, taking the correct money out of his pocket and handing it to David.

"Coming right up."

.o.O.o.

"Ron, do you mind if I go out for a bit?" Hermione called from up the stairs, sighing internally. Did that man ever stop eating?

"Depends. Where are you going?" Ron called back, walking into the hall so that he could holler up the stairs.

"Just…" Hermione scrambled around desperately for a place to go that wouldn't make Ron suspicious, "…Luna's."

"Oh, that's fine then."

Hermione sighed out loud this time. Ron didn't have many flaws in his character, but jealousy was one of them. She knew that he had her best interests at heart, but Hermione couldn't help but feel trapped sometimes. She opened her wardrobe and searched for something suitable to wear. A few minutes later, Ron's voice drifted up the stairs again.

"'Mione, where's the bread?"

"Are you a wizard or not?"

Hermione could practically sense Ron's confusion as he stood in silence, and the light bulb clicking as he deciphered the meaning behind her words. "Accio bread!" Ron yelled forcefully, apparently unaware of the fact that he could do nothing with it whilst he was stood in the hall holding nothing but a wand and an empty packet of crisps.

There was a loud crash, and a few accompanying clatters of varying volumes as the loaf of bread flew through the kitchen, through the living room and into the hall. Usually Hermione would have been disgruntled by the mess, but not today. She needed something to keep Ron busy.

"Whoops! Sorry!" Ron yelled.

"You're cleaning it up!" Hermione replied.

The bushy haired girl quickly picked out an outfit at random and pulled it on, then sprinted down the stairs. Ron was still in the living room, waving his wand around to tidy the mess; the coast was clear.

"Bye Ron," she said quickly, before hurrying out the door.

Hermione navigated herself to the nearest bus-stop, which was about a ten minute walk away, and checked the times on the schedule that was nailed to an old stone lamppost. The next bus was here in five minutes; good. The young woman pulled her secret purse of muggle-money from her pocket, fumbled to get the right change, then replaced the purse. As she waited, Hermione looked down at her outfit. To her surprise, she had gotten the muggle-clothes to match fairly well. A pair of dark blue jeans and a green T-Shirt with a muggle-cartoon character on it. She wiggled her toes in her sandals, enjoying the feeling as the sun warmed them.

The bus pulled up at that moment, and Hermione climbed on, taking one last look behind her before the doors closed.

The vehicle was almost empty, apart from a tired looking woman at the back, with a toddler on her knee. Hermione smiled politely, but the woman just stared at her. The only witch on the bus took a seat, reminding herself that muggle etiquette was slightly different from wizard etiquette. In other words, muggles were less polite, and generally tended to keep to themselves.

The bus journey was shorter than expected. At her stop, Hermione left without thanking the driver, and looked up and down the busy muggle high street. The road was full of cars honking at each other, contributing quite a lot of noise to the already thrumming street. The shoppers walked along, gossiping with one another and carrying brightly coloured designer handbags, along with plenty of shopping bags.

Hermione walked quickly, her beaded bag swinging behind her. For plain convenience, she had not removed the undectable expansion charm. Hermione turned left into a smaller street, then right into an even smaller and shabbier looking street. There, on the left, was the shop she was looking for. One glance behind her, then she walked inside.

.o.O.o.

"So how do you propose we go about it?" Ginny asked airily, scraping the remaining ice-cream from the decorative glass bowl.

"_You're_ asking _me_? You're the one who came up with it in the first place!" Harry said incredulously.

"Harry I can't take you seriously when you have ice-cream dribbling down your chin."

Harry grinned sheepishly and reached up to wipe the food off his face. "There. Now am I going to have to repeat what I just said for you to take it seriously?"

"Yes."

"What I meant was you can't come to me with all these ideas if you don't even know how you're going to put them into action!"

"Well you obviously agree with me!"

"What makes you say that?"

"You winked at me!"

"Yes. For your benefit."

"Good Merlin Harry. Do you think it's a good idea or not?"

"I think it's quite cute."

"Is that good?"

"Yes! Yes, ok, it's good. Happy now?"

Ginny had been trying to convince Harry that her little idea from a while back was worth acting on. It had taken one sundae, one coffee and lots of persuasion to get him to agree. Of course, if it were anyone else, it would have taken much longer for Harry to crack, but since it was Ginny…well it was Ginny, wasn't it? Of course he was going to give in.

"Yes, very. Now how do you propose we do this?"

"No idea. If I had, I wouldn't be asking you to help me with it, would I? I should ask Hermione, really. She'd be much more useful," Ginny grumbled.

"Well, I'm not sure what you think, but personally I think that it would be a good idea to start with the girl in question."

"You mean we go to Luna's?"

"That's exactly what I mean."

Ginny smiled. She really couldn't deny the fact that Neville and Luna were a match made in Heaven. Luna was lonely; she hadn't been romantically linked with anyone since Hogwarts, and she lived alone. Neville, on the other hand, seemed to have one failed relationship after the other, in a never ending chain of heart-make and heartbreak. Both had their similarities, Ginny knew this from the fact that there were times when they were inseparable at Hogwarts, such as at Dumbledore's Army meetings, and the two were still good friends. She felt mean thinking it, but they were also outcasts, in a way. Neville was no were near as bad as he used to be, but he still suffered from lack of self esteem, and Luna just didn't tend to connect with people very well. They really were perfect for each other.

The redhead scraped up one more spoonful of ice-cream – resisting the childish urge to lick the bowl – then let her spoon fall into the dish with a clatter.

"Come on, then. Let's go visit Luna," Ginny said happily. Even though she had no idea how this would help her in her quest at playing Cupid, Ginny still liked the harebrained girl, and enjoyed visiting her.

Ginny and Harry left their seats, then wandered hand-in-hand to Flourish and Blotts, from where they used the Floo network to get to Luna's house.

.o.O.o.

"Hey Luna!" Harry grinned, tumbling out of the fireplace and into a very cluttered and disorganised living room. It was littered with low tables, each one home to its own mountain of strange objects. Most of these were charms that the house's one inhabitant used to keep away a variety of creatures. To an outsider, the house would look faintly terrifying, but Harry knew that most of the creatures he was now protected from didn't actually exist.

"Hello Harry," a dreamy voice said from behind a book. The girl lowered the book and waved to greet her very sooty guest.

"What are you reading?"

"Oh, just a book about the role nargles played in the second war. Apparently, both of the Carrows were regular victims of nargles, you know. I always thought they seemed a bit stupid…oh, hello Ginny."

Harry had been saved from anymore talk of narlges by Ginny stumbling into the room, just to the right of Harry.

"Hi Luna. What are you reading?" Ginny asked, before she noticed the descreet motion Harry was making with his right hand.

"It's all about the role narlges played in the second war. I was just telling Harry about it. Would you like some tea? I have the ordinary kind."

Both Harry and Ginny accepted Luna's offer. Thankfully, she had bought some ordinary tea bags after people started declining the offer of tea every time they visited.

Half an hour later, after a long and mostly one sided discussion about nargles, Ginny decided to put her barely-formed plan into action.

"Do you have any plans this weekend?"

"Not particularly. I was thinking of heading to a conference in Edinburugh about raising awareness of how to protect yourself against the lesser known magical creatures. It's been a while since I last saw anybody with a gurdyroot…" Luna drifted off, gazing absent-mindedly at the ceiling.

"That sounds…err…great, Luna!" Harry said, working to sound enthusiastic.

"I know, it will be very interesting, but I don't think I'm going to go because I have nobody to go with, and you have to do demonstrations in pairs."

Ginny had no idea how a conference would involve demonstrations, but if it was going to be full of people like Luna she thought that it would be a better idea to simply not ask. The pairs part, however, she liked the sound of. "I would go with you, but me and Harry are both busy. I think Neville's free, though."

"Really? I thought he would be with Padama. He hasn't really spent much time with us recently," the blonde haired girl sighed. Was it wishful thinking, or did Ginny detect a note of sadness in her voice?

"No, he and Padama broke up. I expect that he'll be on his own."

"Oh. That would be nice, I'll ask him when I get the chance. I've been spring-cleaning, you see." Luna gestured around the room.

Neither Harry nor Ginny decided to comment.

.o.O.o.

"Hmmm…how do you…oh yes, of course. It's been a while since I've done this. Hmmm…ohhh, that one looks nice…and…no, taken. How about this one? Yes, that's nice too, and available. Not too expensive, either. Thank goodness for muggle-wizard exchange rates! Now just to reserve…and…done!"

Hermione left the shop, a satisfied smile on her face.

.o.O.o.

"See you soon, Luna!" Ginny smiled, as she tossed some Floo-Powder into the fireplace.

"Come over anytime. It's nice to have company."

"Will do."

Ginny stepped into the green flames, spoke her destination, and vanished into the fire. After a quick goodbye to Luna, Harry did likewise. He squinted his eyes as the blurred scenes flew past him and then hopped out expertly into his own living room, landing gracefully.

"Nice landing, Harry. I'd give you a ten out of ten for that one!" Ron chuckled, and Harry bowed.

"Thank you, my orange friend. Joking, joking," Harry added hastily, as Ron's facial expression darkened.

Ron was sprawled across the sofa, and Ginny was sat cross-legged on the floor, as usual.

"Did you get everything you needed?" Ron asked, nodding toward the bulging shopping bags that Ginny had obviously dumped in the corner.

"Yeah, just about."

"You took a while," Ron noted. The couple had left midmorning, and it was late afternoon now.

"Sorry. We wandered around for a while first-

"Let me guess, you were looking at the _Lightening Strike _again."

Harry ignored him. "-then we ran into Neville. Then _somebody _insisted on playing matchmaker, so we were about three hours longer than anticipated." He glared menacingly at Ginny.

"I'm so scared," she deadpanned in reply, making everybody laugh.

"What do you mean, matchmaker?" Ron asked, scratching his head.

Harry and Ginny spent the next ten minutes explaining to Ron why they were trying to get Neville and Luna together. Ron listened amusedly.

"And what did Hermione say? Did she catch on?"

"Hermione? What do you mean?"

"Hermione went over to Luna's at about lunch time. Didn't you see her?" Ron was puzzled.

"No, she wasn't there. Do you remember Luna mentioning it at all, Ginny?"

"Come to think of it, no, I don't. She definitely would have said so as well."

The trio sat in silence for a few seconds.

"So…where does that leave us? I mean, why would she say she was going one place and actually go somewhere else? It's not like Hermione to keep things from us," Harry said anxiously. The only times he could ever remember Hermione keeping things from them were at Hogwarts, and they all had one thing in common.

"There's someone else, isn't there? I mean, what else could it be? I know I'm not exactly perfect and I'm not famous or a millionaire or anything, but I love her and care about her and give her what she wants and what have I done? If she wasn't happy she could have said something instead of going off behind my back and–" Ron's tone was slightly hysterical, and both Harry and Ginny could see him spiralling into despair.

"Ron, snap out of it. You know she wouldn't do anything like that," Ginny said as calmly as she could. She knew that Hermione would never cheat on Ron, but she was still anxious as to where her friend might be. Harry was right – Hermione hardly ever kept things from them.

"Well then where is she?" Ron wailed.

"Oh calm down. Hermione's an intelligent girl; you know she can take care of herself," Harry said soothingly.

"Yes, yes," said Ron impatiently, "but I still want to know where she is!"

"Well, there really isn't anything we can do about that. Seriously Ron, relax. She's probably just at Andromeda's or Bill's or something," Ginny said, hoping that her brother couldn't detect the slight desperation that coloured her tone.

"But why would she lie to me?"

"Maybe she just changed her mind…?" It sounded like a question.

.o.O.o.

"Oh come on…come on, come on…please…" Hermione whimpered to herself, looking at her watch. She had missed the bus that she had intended to catch, and the next one was 15 minutes late so far. She looked up at the street, secretly begging for torrential rain to start falling so that everybody would go inside. If there was ever a time she needed to apperate, it was now, but she couldn't justify the risk, not with so many muggles around. What on earth was she going to do? It was getting late, Ron would be worried…buses…buses…buses! Hermione slapped her own forehead. The Knight Bus, how could she forget? Muggles couldn't see it, it was fast, it was perfect! She immediately thrust her arm out into the middle of the road, and an enormous, purple, triple decker bus sped towards her. Rambling the address and paying as quickly as possible, she hopped onto the bus. It was empty. She sat down on one of the armchairs, holding onto the arms for dear life, and waited as patiently as she could to get home.

.o.O.o.

"Hermione…Hermione…Hermione…come on! Harry, we really need one of them – what's that thing Muggles use? Like mini fellytones…portables or something…" Ron muttered.

"Mobiles, Ron," Harry chuckled.

"Right. Well we need some of them. So much less ostentatious than owls."

"That's true, but…does anybody else hear that rumbling?" Ginny had stopped halfway through her sentence because there was a loud, steady grumble coming from outside.

"It sounds like an engine. Wait, you don't think it could be -"

"- The Knight Bus!" Ron yelled happily, pulling back the curtains and watching as the purple bus faded into the distance. "HERMIONE!"

Hermione was walking up the garden path, looking very worn. Harry, Ron and Ginny ran out to the front door, and pulled her over the doorstep.

"Hermione where've you been?"

"Are you OK?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

They were bombarding her with questions, and Hermione barely had time to take a breath before she answered. "Luna's, I told you, I just got a bit caught up, that's all."

"We all know you haven't been there, Hermione; Harry and Ginny went earlier on and she said you hadn't called by."

Hermione looked at her three friends sadly. She hadn't prepared for this.

"Is there something you want to tell us, Hermione?" Ginny asked gently, taking pity on her friend. She could see how upset Hermione was.

"Well, I had an idea, but I didn't want to tell you in case it didn't work out so I decided to research it first…"

"Seriously though, Hermione. How many ideas have we had that didn't work out?" Harry pointed out. After all, it was extremly rare for anything to go right the first time within this group of friends.

Hermione sighed. "Come and sit down and I'll tell you…"


	4. Revelations

**Chapter 4 – Revelations**

"_Is there something you want to tell us, Hermione?" Ginny asked gently, taking pity on her friend. She could see how upset Hermione was._

"_Well, I had an idea, but I didn't want to tell you in case it didn't work out so I decided to research it first…"_

"_Seriously though, Hermione. How many ideas have we had that didn't work out?" Harry pointed out. After all, it was extremly rare for anything to go right the first time within this group of friends._

_Hermione sighed. "Come and sit down and I'll tell you…"_

.o.O.o

Harry and Ginny sat down on the couch together, while Hermione and Ron took the remaining armchairs.

"Well?"

"Well…everybody's been really stressed lately, and everyone's under a lot of pressure, and nobody just seems to be very happy at the moment," Hermione started.

"Nice perception skills Hermione, but I thought you were supposed to be telling us where you were," Harry pointed out.

"Yes, yes, I was getting to that bit. So as I was saying, I think we all need some time to relax and unwind. I wasn't sure how to go about it, though, so I was looking through some old stuff upstairs for inspiration. I found an old photo album of my family with some pictures of a holiday we went on, and we had some really funny times." Hermione paused to take a breath.

"Oh!" Ron yelled suddenly. "That's what you were laughing at today! And that's why you were on the floor; you keep all of your Muggle things under the bed!"

"That's right," Hermione smiled. "Anyway, when I was younger, we went away a few times…in a motor home."

"What's a motor home?" Ron and Ginny chourused, while a Harry's face was a mingled picture of amusement and incredulous disbelief.

"It's like…like a little house that you can drive, I suppose," Hermione said, explaining as briefly as possible so that she could get on with her story. She could see that both of the redheads in the room were about to bmbard her with questions, so she held up her hand to stop them. "Later. Anyway, we used to go away in it and have a really good time. We used to just pack some essentials and a map and go."

"What was it like?" Harry asked, having never been anywhere more exciting than Aunt Marge's on holiday as a muggle.

"In truth? A complete and utter disaster, but hilarious at the same time. When I look back on it, there are moments that are so riciculous I wonder how they could even have been real," Hermione laughed. "Anyway, I was thinking maybe that _we _could go away in one for a while."

"But why would you want to keep that a secret?"

"Well, that's the thing. I thought, maybe, since it's causing us all so many problems lately, and also because we'd fit in easier…"

"Spit it out Hermione."

"We should try to not use magic the whole time," she finished sheepishly. "I wasn't sure you'd like that idea, plus I wanted to see how much has changed since I last went caravanning, so I went to an internet café to research some things."

Ron and Ginny, who had a very basic knowledge of the internet, stared at Hermione. "But why would you think we wouldn't approve? Hermione that's a great idea! Plus you, me and Harry have driver's thingys now, so we can take it in turns!" Ron yelled enthusiastically.

"You really think?" asked Hermione, beaming.

"Of course it is, 'Mione! It sounds like fun! Plus…wait, Hermione, how many people can fit into one of these moving houses?"

"Well, Ginny, I sort of reserved one…you know, in case you all decided you liked the idea. It sleeps six, so that would be OK."

Harry smiled. He had an inkling that Ginny would have found a way to bring Neville and Luna along anyway.

"Perfect!" Ginny cried, a little more pleased about this than Hermione had expected. "Neville and Luna can come along!"

"Yes, that would be good, though it might take a bit of work to stop Luna from warning everybody against man-eating plimpies, or whatever her latest fad is…"

"Oh, come on Hermione, I'm sure we can reign her in," Harry smiled, slightly giddy at the idea of a real muggle holiday.

Hermione broke out into a grin. "OK, but if she gives us away it's on your head," she warned, but her shining face was enough to tell the others that she wasn't serious.

Everybody was thrilled at the prospect of the looming holiday. Harry, however, had had another thought. "Hermione…aren't caravans sort of expensive?"

"Well, to muggles yes, I suppose they are, but if there are six of us we could all chip in, and the exchange rates make it about a hundred times cheaper for us to buy one. Besides, I have no idea how you can be worried about money after everything that's happened," she ended with a smile. After all of the mania surrounding you-know-who had died down, all of them had been asked by countless magazines and newspapers to recount the story for a very high price, despite their protests that the money wasn't important.

"Oh yeah. I never thought about that," Harry said guiltily. "I suppose I'm already thinking in the muggle state of mind, aren't I?"

Everybody laughed, then Hermione sighed. "Well, it's getting late. I'm going to go off to bed, so we can start planning tomorrow. Goodnight everyone."

"Are you sure you don't want anything to eat? You must be starving," Ron pointed out.

"No, I just need some rest. Night." Hermione pulled herself out of the squishy chair, kissed Ron on the cheek as she walked past, and dragged herself up the stairs. After getting changed into her pajamas, she fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Harry, Ron and Ginny were discussing Hermione's idea. After another hour's worth of discussion, all three decided to call it a night and headed upstairs; they had eaten earlier whilst waiting for Hermione.

.o.O.o.

"So," said Harry, pulling the crisp, white duvet up to his chin and rolling on his side to face Ginny. "What are you planning, Cupid?"

Ginny smirked. "Well, personally, I think that being squished together in a varacan -"

"Caravan."

"Whatever. I think that being squished in a _caravan_ with two loved up couples for a prolonged amount of time should wear off on them. And if it doesn't, well, I'll see what I can do. What do you think of that, anyway?"

"What, the holiday? I think it's a great idea," Harry smiled.

"Yeah, me too, but I was thinking more about what you think of being trapped in a small house along with my overprotective brother and his girlfriend, with no magic allowed," Ginny explained matter-of-factly.

Harry was silent for a moment. "Thank you, Ginny, for putting a downer on my mood," he said finally.

Ginny laughed. "Oh, I'm sure nobody would notice if we decided to cheat a little. Besides," she picked up her wand and muttered _Muffliato_ under her breath, "we still have tonight."

.o.O.o.

The next morning, Ron Weasley was staring up at the ceiling with a confused expression on his face, while Hermione slept peacefully, her bushy brown hair flattened against Ron's freckled chest. Ron, surprising as that might seem, was thinking hard. _How does a house move? That's riciculous! _Ron's mind jumped to Remus Lupin for a moment, and he faintly remembered the time when he had taught a thirteen year old Ron how to fight a Boggart. _Riddikulus! _Ron smiled remincently at the thought of the lesson, but found his smile turning into a grimace as he recounted the amount of mutterings from the Slytherins, mostly along the lines of, "Yep, this is _Riddikulus_ all right." Ron shook the thought from his mind and thought of Lupin again. There were very few people in the world as good as he was, Ron thought, and it was sad that the best people seemed to die young. Like Lupin, like Tonks, like Fred…Ron shook his head quickly and wrapped his arms tighter around Hermione's waist. It was time he started living in the present.

.o.O.o.

_OK guys, I know that was really short and it took forever for me to update, but I've had loads of tests that decide on my subjects for next year, so I think I have an excuse…I hope. Sorry it's short, this is pretty much a transition chapter. The funny stuff starts next chapter!_


	5. Kingsley and Complications

**Chapter 5 – Kingsley and Complications**

"So, you're telling me you want to take off Merlin-knows-how-long to go galumphing off in a house with wheels, am I correct?" Kingsley asked Harry sternly. Harry had put in a memo asking for some time off work, along with his plans, just that morning. He hadn't exactly been hopeful when he had been called to the Minister's office.

"Yes, that's right Minister."

Kingsley stared at Harry for a long moment. "Well," he said finally, eyeing Harry carefully, "I have a preposition for you. It is your choice whether you accept or not."

"Don't get all dramatic, just tell me what it is," Harry pressed. He knew he could afford to be a little cheeky to Kingsley – he had known him long before he became Minister, after all.

"You say you're trying not to use magic on this trip," the Minister said slowly.

"Yeah, you see, Hermione, Granger, that is, thinks it might be good for us to get away from it all for a while."

"Hmmm. I see. Well, can you think of anybody who most certainly not approve of your break from magic?"

Something clicked in Harry's mind. Surely, _surely_ this couldn't be the solution they had been so desperately looking for. "Death Eaters. Voldemort's old supporters."

"I see we're on the same wavelength."

Apparently, this was exactly the solution they had been looking for. Harry took a deep breath before he continued. "Are you suggesting that we talk all suspects with us, get to know them, and track exactly what they think of behaving like Muggles?"

"Yes. That is exactly what I'm saying."

"Look, don't get me wrong here Kingsley, you're great at what you do and all, but this is mental! Do you know how hard that will be? It's far, far too easy to fake a personality, and I'm not sure I particularly want to spend my holidays in a confined space with a bunch of people wouldn't mind killing me, either."

"I understand that it could be risky-"

"_Could_ be risky?"

"Alright, it will be risky. But we're killing two phoenixes with one wand here. We get a better idea of who has and hasn't changed their ways, and you get your holiday. Kind of."

Harry was silent for a moment, considering the offer. It would, he supposed, all depend on who he was going to be stuck with.

"I was thinking Draco Malfoy, the young man who you seem to be so friendly with," Kingsley grinned. He knew all about Harry and Draco's petty rivalry that had turned into something much fiercer. Harry stared. "You really ought to get to work on that Occlumency again."

Harry sighed. Out of every magical challenge he had ever encountered, Occlumency, along with Divination, was the one thing that he had never managed to grasp. Hermione had come to the conclusion – after much consultation with the library – that Harry was too emotionally honest to ever become a good Occlumens. "Alright Kingsley, I'll take it. Though we are gonna have to find a bigger caravan…on second thoughts maybe it would be better to let him sleep on the floor…yeah, I like that better, I think."

"Now, now, Harry. We both know he's done wrong but this is about second chances, do you understand?"

"Yes sir," Harry sighed wearily. He wasn'tparticularly looking forward to telling the others about what he had gotten them into, much less Draco.

"Good. You start next Monday."

"_Monday!_ But it's Friday! I only have two days to get prepared!"

"Prepared?"

"Well, aside from actually _getting _the house o- caravan, I need to mentally prepare myself." Kingsley looked worried. You know. For spending a prolonged amount of time with someone who would like to kill me."

"Oh. Well it's all part of the job description, remember."

"I don't remember seeing something about spending your time off with your schoolboy rival, who was allies with the man, if you can call him that, who killed your parents."

"No, it said something about unpredictable situations."

"Monday it is." Harry said quietly, deciding to give up.

"Thanks, Harry. I understand that this is a pain, but I can't pass up an idea like this."

"Don't worry about it. Afternoon, Minister." Harry got to his feet and left the office, making his way down to the Auror offices. He walked into his cubicle, which was plastered with photos and newspaper cuttings, just like every other cubicle, and sat down at his desk.

Almost immediately, the very freckled face of Ron Weasley popped over the wall separating them. "How'd it go?"

"Oh, yeah, great. Couldn't have gone better."

"Really?"

"No. Well, yes, apart from the fact that we have to bring bloody Malfoy with us!"

"WHAT! WHY?" Ron yelped, so loudly that the rest of the Aurors began to stare at them curiously, craning their necks over the partitions to locate the source of the noise. "And what are you staring at?" The Aurors all sank slowly back into their seats, but not without stealing quick glances at Harry and Ron.

Harry gestured to Ron for him to join him, and Ron did so.

"You are kidding, aren't you? I mean, you're not _really _bringing Malfoy along?"

"I wish I was kidding Ron, I wish I was. Kingsley thinks that if we 'get to know him' that we can decide whether or not he really deserves to be punished. I can see his face now."

Harry could already see the disgusted smirk that was sure to grace Draco's face when he found out what they were supposed to be doing, and it repulsed him.

"Ugh, so can I. Does he know yet?"

"No, I suppose I'll have to send a memo, won't I?"

"Mmm," Ron muttered, more to himself. He didn't look very pleased, even by Ron's usual standards when Malfoy's name was mentioned. Harry picked up on this.

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

Ron shook his head.

"Yes you are. I can see it. I'm sorry, I really am, but it was either that or we didn't go!"

Ron's ears were turning red. "Well I'm sorry, but I'd rather not go on holiday at all than go on holiday with a Death Eater!" he bellowed. His voice boomed through the large room, and everybody turned to look again. "Will you stop staring?"

Nobody did, but continued to watch the friends with interest. It was nice to have a little something to break up the tedious boredom of a day in the office.

"Look," Harry hissed under his breath, anxiously trying (and failing) to avoid the stares, "I knit it's not exactly ideal-"

"Pfft!"

"-_but_ it's the best we're going to get. Would you really want to upset Hermione by ruining her trip?"

"Oh there you go, playing the Hermione Card! That is not fair! Anyway, I think we can pretty much call it ruined before it's even started!" Ron yelled, refusing to lower his voice. "STOP STARING!"

Harry smiled apologetically at the young witch whose head had just almost been blown off by Ron, and she hurried past Harry's cubicle, looking terrified. "Ron will you calm down? You're making a fool of yourself!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

Right at that moment, another figure decided to walk past the cubicle. It was not, however, the dark-haired witch whom Ron had just scared half to death, but a tall, lean figure with pointed features and white blonde hair.

"Ron!" Harry hissed again, nudging him in the ribs. "Go after him, best get it done sooner rather than later."

"Me? ME? Why should I have to do it! It was your idea!"

"_My _idea! No, it most certainly was not! It was King- oh never mind!" Harry contradicted. Frustration was slowly starting to break through his composure; he could feel beads of sweat on his neck and blood rushing to his face. He took his sleeve and wiped the back of his neck, then ran out of the cubicle and after the slowly shrinking figure of Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy! Oi, Malfoy!"

Draco carried on walking slow, even steps.

"OI! MALFOY!" Harry roared, even louder than Ron had been shouting, and at such volume that Draco would have to have been partially deaf not to have heard.

As predicted, his steps faltered. The tall figure turned slowly on his heel, and reluctantly faced Harry, a predictable yet still aggravating sneer curling his features. "Potter," he spat.

"My office, please," Harry ordered, and not even Malfoy could ignore the ring of authority that his voice left in the air, although he tried.

"Look, _Head Auror_, if this is about what happened last-"

"No, it's not, and even if it was I do believe that I have the power to summon you to my office whenever I please."

With a look of deepest contempt, Draco stalked back past Harry, pushing into him hard as he walked by.

"Want to do that in front of the Minister? He's still deciding whether or not you deserve a nice cell in Azkaban. And it may interest you to know that I now have a say in what happens to you."

Malfoy ignored him, simply walking into Harry's cubicle, were Ron occupied one seat and the other lay empty. Draco sat down in it.

"Stand up," Harry said firmly.

"No."

"Do it or you'll wish you had," Ron threatened, pulling his wand out of his robes. Harry shot him a look that clearly said 'cool it', but Ron kept his wand pointed at Draco. Draco narrowed his eyes at Ron, but Ron made no visual response. He finally pushed himself out of the chair.

"Thank you," said Harry, much more mildly. He duplicated the chair easily, and Draco threw himself into the new one with poor grace.

"Now, Potter, are you going to tell me what you want?"

"No, he's going to make you sit there all day just because he loves being in your presence so much," Ron muttered sarcastically. Harry ignored him.

"I have been speaking with the Minister-"

"Good for you," Draco taunted.

"-_and _I've been asked to take you on holiday."

"You think you're funny Potter? I'll show you funny!" Draco snarled, rising out of his seat. Ron took his arm and pushed him firmly back down.

"No, I don't think this is funny at all. Do you really think I want to spend my holiday with you? Trust me, I don't, but work's work."

"OK then, if I am to make the unlikely assumption that you_ are _serious, why in the name of Merlin do I have to do this?"

Harry hesitated. Kingsley hadn't said anything about not telling Draco, but Harry wasn't stupid. It would be far too easy for Draco to behave properly if he knew why he had to go on this 'holiday' in the first place. "I actually have no idea. But if it's really that important to you go and ask the Minister himself, I'm sure he has his reasons."

Draco stared at Harry for a long moment, and Harry avoided catching his eye, trying once again to feebly block his mind, He appeared to have succeeded, because Draco didn't question him.

"Right. Potter. When do we leave?"

"This Monday. Don't moan about the short notice, it's not convenient for us either, just put up with it," Harry said in one breath.

"Mmh," Draco huffed. "So, where are we going?"

Ron looked at Harry in anticipation. This was surely going to be the first thing that indicated whether or not Draco really had changed.

"We're going away in a caravan. It's like a little house on wheels, it's a traditional Muggle holiday, and we're not going to use any magic throughout the whole trip," Harry informed calmly, gauging Draco's reaction. As Harry spoke, Draco's face had become more and more contorted with rage, until his features were barely recognisable.

"A Muggle! You want me to behave like a filthy, useless, Mudblood _MUGGLE!" _he shuddered, barely able to contain his anger and yelling the last word.

"Don't you dare!" Harry and Ron chorused furiously. All dignity forgotten, they each began to rise out of their seats. Ron pushed Malfoy to the floor and Harry glared at him menacingly, his wand pointing to his chest.

"Are you going to be reasonable about this or not? Because if not, I'm making no promises that I won't hurt you," Harry panted, his voice coming out in short, sharp breaths.

Draco swallowed nervously; his throat was dry. "OK, OK, I'll behave!" He pulled himself up from the floor and straightened up, dusting himself off. The trio stood in strained silence for a moment.

"Malfoy, you can go. We'll be in touch with the details later," Harry managed to say stiffly.

Draco simply stormed out of the cubicle, without so much as a nod of acknowledgement.

"Well that went well," Ron said cheerfully, before using one hand to boost him over the cubicle and back into his own office.

Harry shook his head, trying to ignore the stares and get himself back in the working state of mind, when a red paper aeroplane swooped over their heads at an extreme speed, and landed abruptly on Harry's desk. For anybody else, the change from the usual, soft lavender memo would be a course for concern, but not for Harry. Hermione got stressed so easily these days that it was not uncommon for either him or Ron to receive on several times a day. Harry was surprised that Kingsley hadn't said something about it.

"Hermione again?" Ron asked casually over the partition, leaning back in his chair and swinging his arm off the back.

"I'm guessing so."

Harry took the violently crimson plane from the desk, not pausing to glance at the bold 'URGENT' that had been stamped onto the wings. He straightened his glasses and read.

_Harry,_

_I just overheard Malfoy talking to Goyle as they passed my office, he said something about varacans, he can't mean caravans can he? I didn't hear much, but I swear I heard you name and something about Muggles…oh Harry please tell me I'm over-analysing and this is just a coincidence! I just got a memo from Kingsley telling me that I'd been allowed time of but for one condition that you'd already agreed to, please tell me this isn't the condition, please!_

_Hermione_

_PS. Please tell Ron to hurry up with that paper, Edgecomb's getting tetchy._

"Yes its Hermione, and she told me to tell you to hurry up with that paper, Marietta's getting her knickers in a twist," Harry called over the partition.

"Good, let her. I was disappointed when that jinx wore off."

Harry smiled and shook his head.

"What else did she say?"

Harry took his wand from the desk and flicked it so that the limp piece of paper ended up on Ron's desk. Harry set to work on his reply whilst Ron read.

"Oh dear," Ron muttered, and stuffed the note inside his robes. Harry smiled to himself again at the sound of the paper crinkling. He would never tell him, but he knew of Ron's annoyingly cute habit of keeping every scrap of paper that Hermione had ever written on. After finishing his note, Harry read over it quickly once.

_Hermione,_

_Yes, I am sorry to say that Malfoy's coming with us. It's the most ridiculous thing you can imagine, isn't it? I'll explain it all later when Ginny's around. Ron knows everything too. I'm sorry about this, but I had to agree. And Hermione, relax. You don't have to send urgent memos every 15 minutes just because work isn't going perfectly just now, things'll work out._

_Harry_

Harry put down his quill, charmed the plane into shape then let it fly away, wondering what on earth he had just gotten himself into.

.o.O.o.

_OK, I lied. But the funny stuff will come soon, I promise, I just didn't think it would fit too well with this one. I won't beg for reviews. Ahh, Hell to it. REVIEW! :)_


	6. Wish you Weren't Here

**Chapter 6 – Wish you Weren't Here**

"I still can't believe we're doing this," Ginny muttered grimly. She was staring at the front door of her house, her shoulders squared and her expression even grimmer than her tone.

"Oh come on, Ginny it won't be that bad," Harry said consolingly. He moved to put an arm around Ginny's shoulder, and the plastic of his hideous yellow raincoat crackled. Ginny didn't acknowledge him. "I'm serious! I mean maybe we could accidently run Malfoy over or something…I'm sure that would brighten things up a bit." Ginny cracked a smile.

"I don't think anything could break through this rain Harry. Besides, you can't kill him! You'll get in awful trouble!" Hermione protested.

"Hermione, I was kidding. Though I must admit, it's a very tempting thought."

Ron chuckled nasally, reaching up to keep the wooden peg firmly on his nose. Everyone sighed. Ron had complained non-stop about the artificial, distinctive smell that the huge amount of new plastic carried around with it, eventually claiming that the fumes were going to give him brain damage. That morning, he had resorted to putting the peg on his nose whenever he was in the same room as the tent.

"Why are we going ib a bent abain?" he asked with difficulty.

"You know why, Ron," Hermione sighed. "The caravan company couldn't get us a caravan with enough berths in such a short amount of time."

"Oh. What's a berth, abain?"

Ginny threw her backpack at him.

"Ow!" Ron said pointedly, scratching his head where the heavy bag hit it.

"Stop being so intentionally difficult, then," Ginny said flatly.

The hall was silent for a moment. Malfoy was already five minutes late, and it was making everybody nervy. They would be meeting with Neville and Luna at the site, considering that there wasn't enough space for them all to fit in the car.

Ron squeezed himself through the tiny hallway and sat on the bottom stair. He began jiggling his knee in a constant rhythm. The sound of his long, clear poncho sticking together at the folds was about to tip everybody over the edge when Hermione laid a hand on his knee and shushed him.

The quartet stood in silence for a moment, until a forceful bang on the door made them all jump.

"That'll be Malfoy," Harry sighed unnecessarily, removing his arm from Ginny's shoulder and squishing his elbow against the wall in an effort to open the door. The hall was more cramped than it had been even at Ron's birthday party, when everybody who was invited decided to bring at least another seven guests. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny all had a rucksack full of things for the journey, and any essentials in case of an emergency. This was mostly to keep Ron relaxed; he had been having nightmares about being trapped in the car with no food and nothing to do and no way of getting out.

The large tent was propped up against the wall near the stairs, and it took up most of the room.

When Harry finally unlocked the door, he was not greeted with a very encouraging sight. Draco Malfoy was glaring down his nose at Harry, his wand held firmly in his right hand and pointing upwards. Above his head must have been some sort of invisible barrier created by his wand, because the rain was falling all around him, but bounced back when it was about to touch him. Harry could already see that Muggle camping wasn't going to be suited to Draco's usual home comforts.

"Oh, good, you're here," Harry said expressionlessly.

"Toog you lomg enoub," Ron murmured. Everyone ignored him.

"Yes, I am here. Now would you mind telling me what that horrific stench is?"

"Plastic," said Hermione bluntly.

Draco glared. An awkward silence descended on the group.

"So," Harry said suddenly, realising that everyone was waiting for him to say something, "I think we should all get ourselves outside, then Ron and Draco can help me get the tent in the boot. Ron, could you bring that coat and rucksack and give them to Draco? Good. Now-"

"Wait," Draco commanded, still stood outside. Harry couldn't have invited him in even if he wanted to, the hall was that crammed. "Since when were we on a first name basis?"

"It doesn't hurt to at least _try _starting this trip in a friendly manner," Harry said mildly. Draco said nothing. "Right," Harry continued, back in his authorative mode, "if you'll just move to the side, we can get out and get going."

"And why on earth would I want to _speed up _the process of leaving for this 'holiday'?" Draco sneered, but moved aside anyway. Harry was glad that Ron was at the back of the room, and wouldn't be able to hex Draco without hitting anybody else.

Everybody managed to make their way out of the house and into the rainy morning. Ron pulled the peg from his nose, leaving two little red pinch marks on his face, and handed Malfoy the bag and a yellow raincoat without looking at him. Malfoy hoisted the bag onto one shoulder, then began staring at the coat in disgust as if it has personally offended him, holding it at arm's length.

"Problem, Malfoy?" Ginny asked coldly.

"What am I supposed to do with this ghastly thing? Burn it, maybe, but wear it? Never in a million years."

"Well, if I were you I would, because from the moment the Minister Disapperates you're not allowed to use magic," Hermione informed.

"Minister? Disapperates?" Draco spluttered. "From where? He's not even here!"

"No, but he will be any moment now," said Harry, glancing at his watch. "Do you want to go to Azkaban?"

Draco gave Harry a look that he recognized as being very dangerous, then grimaced as he pulled the yellow sleeves over his arms, the hood over his head, and with a flick of his wand, ended the charm.

"Good. Now, come and give Ron and me a hand with getting this tent in the boot. It's made for six people so it's quite heavy."

"And we can't charm it lighter because…"

"We're practicing going without magic."

"Of course," Draco spat, before following Harry and Ron back into the house.

As soon as Ginny had slammed shut the boot, there was a loud crack that seemed to have come from behind a nearby tree. The witches and wizards assembled on the driveway turned to see the Minister for Magic walking out from it, holding a large black umbrella over his head.

Harry was the first to greet him. "Good to see you, minister," he said in a light, friendly tone as he shook his hand.

"You too, Potter. Weasley, Weasley, Granger, Malfoy," he nodded as he shook the others' hands. "All set? Harry here told me about the mishap with the caravan, so good luck on putting that tent up, it's Hell doing it by hand," Kingsley chuckled. This did nothing to improve Draco's mood. "Right, you all know what the rule is. From the moment I Disapperate, you will not be allowed to use magic unless you are in a life-threatening situation. Nor are you allowed to use owls to send your post; you will be too conspicuous. Every so often, around once a week, I would appreciate it if you could find a wizarding community or a larger area from which you can contact me and tell me how things are getting along, and send messages to anyone else you need to communicate with. To make sure that the rule regarding magic is not broken, I must first perform a charm on you that will give you a trace not much different from the trace that underage wizards have. If you perform magic whilst you are connected to the ministry in this way, I shall know," the minister explained, looking especially stern when he turned to Draco. "Everyone understand?" Everyone nodded. "Good."

One by one, Kingsley performed the charm on the group. It felt a lot like a strong wind blowing over their bodies as he cast it, but there was no breeze around them.

"Well," the minister said after casting the spells, "I'd love to stay and chat, but you have a trip to begin. Happy holidays," he said cheerily, before turning and promptly vanishing on the spot.

"This is it, then guys, no turning back," Ron said glumly, and everybody other than Draco laughed.

"What time is it, Ron?"

"Ten past seven."

"Right then, we'd better get off," Hermione said excitedly.

"I wouldn't mind us getting off right now," Ron said innocently, making Harry smirk.

Hermione gave Ron a playful slap, then beamed around at everybody. Even the ungrateful tag-a-long or the pouring rain wasn't enough to completely dampen her spirits. "Who's driving?"

Ron looked at Harry awkwardly. Harry was the only one, besides Ron himself, who knew the only way he had actually managed to get his licence was by confunding the instructor.

"Errm, I'll do it," Harry volunteered, and Ron threw his friend a grateful glance.

"OK, then, everybody in," Hermione smiled, waving everyone towards the car. Harry couldn't help but think to himself that Hermione seemed rather motherly when it came to this trip. He got in the car, and there was a mad rush between Hermione, Ron and Ginny to get shotgun. Draco stood and stared at the car.

After managing to win the brief scuffle for the front seat, Hermione turned to look at Draco. "Are you getting in or are you going to walk?"

"We're all getting there in that…that _thing_?"

"Yes."

"Small. Red. Muggle. There is no way I'm going in _that."_

"Oh yes there is," said Ginny, clambering into the back seat on the right and fiddling with her seatbelt. "Harry how do I-"

"Like this." Harry turned round in his chair and slid Ginny's seat belt smoothly over her body, as Ron wrestled Draco into the middle of the back seats.

"What's this?" he asked blankly, picking up the seatbelt that was hanging limply over the edge of the seat and onto the floor.

"It's called a seatbelt," Hermione explained. "It stops you from flying forward if we crash."

Draco made an impressed grunt, then grabbed the seatbelt and attempted to thrust it violently into the slot. It was only when Ron pointed out that it was the wrong way round when he stopped.

After a brief episode that involved everybody having to get out of the car to stop Ron strangling Draco with his seatbelt, then another where everybody had to prevent him from accidently strangling _himself_ with his seatbelt, the ancient red Peugeot left the drive and they were on their way.

.o.O.o.

"Are we there yet?" A quiet, whining voice sounded over the pitter-patter of the rain.

"No," Harry said bluntly.

.o.O.o.

In a rare dry-spell, where nothing but the thrum of the engine could be heard, since everybody had given up trying to make conversation, somebody asked a question. "Are we there yet?"

"What do you think?" Ginny muttered.

The car sank back into silence.

.o.O.o.

"Are we the-"

"FOR THE THIRD TIME, DRACO, NO WE ARE NOT THERE!"

.o.O.o.

"Muggle methods of transport are embarrassingly slow. I'll never understand why people give them so much credit!"

"Draco, it's been ten minutes. Shut up."

"How dare you tell me to 'shut up', you filthy blood-traitor."

"Say that again," Ron threatened, "and you'll have a much harder time than this."

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do, make me drive?" Draco sniggered.

"Well, actually I was thinking of tying you to the roof and making you stay there the whole journey."

Draco said nothing.

.o.O.o.

An hour later, the frosty atmosphere in the car seemed to have thawed out slightly. Harry had to admit that it was probably because Ron had fallen asleep against the window, and Hermione had managed to find a good station on the radio, but it was comforting nonetheless.

Ginny, who had tied her red hair back into a ponytail because Draco had kept complaining that the ends were tickling his face, reached down to the sports rucksack on the floor. She pulled it up into her lap and undid the zip. Inside the bag was an odd assortment of items. There were some cheese sandwiches, a packet of crisps and a bottle of water in a plastic lunch box, a Muggle mobile phone which had fascinated her for hours, a foldable tank for collecting water, some gloves, a hat, and various forms of Muggle entertainment.

Most of these things she'd seen before, of course, but some she hadn't. Harry and Hermione had arrived home yesterday afternoon with bags full of strange objects, but they hadn't allowed Ron or Ginny to see them until the trip had officially begun.

Ginny's curiosity burned inside her, and she searched through the small bag for something interesting to entertain her. Finally, she pulled out a black, rectangular pouch. She frowned and opened the Velcro fastening that was at one end. Inside was a pink object that was the exact same shape as the bag, and took up most of the space in it. Ginny turned it around in her hands, until she noticed that the object folded out. She opened it and her eyes widened in wonder as she took in the two small screens and the buttons on the Nintendo DS.

"Harry?" she asked, intrigued about the object.

"Ginny?" Harry asked back, mocking her slightly.

"What's this?"

Harry smiled. "Much as I'd like to be able to see out of the back of my head and through chairs, I can't. You're going to have to describe it too me."

"Can't you just look at it?"

"I'm driving, here," Harry responded, before making a very rude hand gesture at a passing car that looked as if it were about to take off into space, it was going that fast.

"Oh yeah," Ginny smiled sheepishly. "Excellent work, keep it up," she teased.

"Why thank you darling."

Hermione smiled. She loved watching Ginny and Harry interact; it had taken so long for them to get together, and although she wouldn't admit it, Hermione, well, loved a good love story.

"Harry, can't you just stop a second?"

"In the middle of the road when there are other cars behind me? Not a chance, Gin. Can't you just describe it to me?"

"Well…" Ginny examined the object again. "Its pink…and a rectangle…and it opens like a book…and it came in a little sort of pouch…and there's two little vellytisions on it…"

"Televisions."

"Right. And there's buttons on it…"

"It's called a gameboy, Ginny. You play games on it."

"What sort of games? How?" Ginny demanded, still staring at the gameboy.

"OK, look in the little black pouch. There should be some cartridges."

"Some what?"

"Little squares."

"Oh right, OK. Got them."

As Harry talked Ginny through putting the cartridges into the console and getting on to the actual game, Draco forced his face into the same bored mask that it had been for the whole journey so far. Secretly, however, he was curious.

"Wow! Harry this is wicked! Its a little man and he moves when I press the arrows! Wow!"

Harry smiled adoringly to himself at the sound of Ginny's excitement. Hermione smiled too; she couldn't wait for Ron to have a turn.

"Oh my gosh, Harry, he jumps! This is incredible! How on earth do they make these?"

"I have no idea. Have you put the volume on?"

"No, how?"

"There's a little slider on the side."

"OHHHH!" Ginny crowed excitedly as an annoyingly repetitive yet infuriatingly catchy tune burst out from the little rectangle.

"Wow! There's money! Just coins lying around on the street, oh! You can pick them up! Amazing! It makes noises when you pick them up, listen!"

Harry, Hermione and Draco had to endure a whole half hour of strange outbursts from Ginny. For the first ten minutes, the little riff filled the car until everybody in it was at breaking point. Draco, who was wondering how on earth something so clever could be ruined by such terrible noise, snapped at Ginny to turn it off. She almost didn't, but then she realised that he wasn't the only one being irritated by the sound.

Hermione sat humming to the tune on the radio, tapping her fingers in time to the beat. Ron's snores were driving Draco just about insane, but the only way to shut him up was to wake him, and he preferred the snoring. Ginny's squeals were like Harry's own personal music; the sound of her joy was his joy. Harry kept his eyes on the road, but the longer they drove the sleepier he got. He hadn't exactly had a quiet night, what with the prospect of goodness knows how long without any privacy in the bedroom, and he was beginning to suffer for it. His eyelids became heavier and heavier, until he drifted off for merely a second, but it was at exactly the wrong moment.

"HARRY!" Hermione screamed as they drew up to a red light. Harry's head jerked forward and his legs sprang into action before his brain knew consciously what he was doing. The car tires screeched to a stop, seconds before they collided with a particularly shiny sports car.

When the car jolted to a halt, Ron was flung slightly, and he moved in his sleep. After wriggling unconsciously for a few seconds, he turned and rested his head on Draco's shoulder. Draco looked as if he were going to be sick.

Ginny clamped her hand over her mouth in an attempt to control her laughter. It was going to be an interesting journey, to say the least…and a lot of fun, unless your name was Draco Malfoy…

.o.O.o.

_Well that took a long time for me to update! I know you've probably forgotten that this story even exists by now, but I would appreciate your lovely reviews all the same. I'm not updating this until I get at least three more reviews, because if nobody really cares about this I guess there's no point. Don't leave it someone else. Give reviews, and make one writer extremly happy. It doesn't cost a penny, and there is no contract holding you in, either! I will now stop waffling on like a car insurance advert and let you review, because we all know I convinced you...I hope…_

_And while we're on the subject of convincing, please check out my other story, The Book of Personology, to find out what McGonagall's first impressions of her students were!  
_


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